Mums Can’t Win – A Father’s Reflections

As it’s Fathers’ Day I’m publishing a dad’s perspective on mothering in today’s post. This article was first published in the La Leche League Members’ magazine Breastfeeding Matters (May/June 2013 issue) and although I’m biased (it’s by a certain Tom Bellamy!) I hope you’ll agree it’s worth taking a few minutes out of your day to read.


Mums Can’t Win

by Tom Bellamy


Becoming a father for the first time creates a whole raft of new emotions and experiences and ideas, but for me there has been one realization that is more depressing than the sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, or soiled nappies, and it’s this: Mums can’t win.

I have to admit, before the birth of my daughter, I had given very little thought to the manner in which children should be raised. Beyond a vague sense that breastfeeding is obviously better than a bottle – you know, for a few months or so; perhaps till they have teeth? – I had no strong opinions about issues such as sleep training, babywearing or cloth nappies. After the birth of my daughter, I very quickly realized that the rest of the world has very strong opinions.

My wife and I made some plans before the birth: decorating a nursery, and borrowing a Moses basket, and generally going through the naïve motions of parents that expected their child to meet their expectations. And then our daughter arrived and showed us what we were doing wrong. She wouldn’t sleep in her cot. No matter how many nights of cajoling, soothing, and strategizing we attempted (I even had a plan on a clipboard at one point), she just refused. I remember a turning point when, exhausted and upset, my wife and daughter fell asleep together while breastfeeding, and we all slept until morning. The next day, I took our bed apart, wrestled the divan into the garage, laid the mattress on the floor, made it safe for co-sleeping, and we haven’t looked back. To make it clear: this was never my plan, but we were willing to adapt to our daughter’s needs, and the benefits of getting her to sleep alone did not seem important enough to force her to do it. We knew other families who made the opposite choice, and sleep-trained through cry-it-out, just as a GP had advised us. It worked for them, but it didn’t work for us, and that was the point at which I realized that Mums can’t win. No matter what choice they make, other people won’t respect it.

Father and daughter, photo by Teika Bellamy

Father and daughter, photo by Teika Bellamy

It strikes me now that there is literally no set of choices that a mother can make which will receive universal praise, or even acceptance. For every mother that chooses to breastfeed, there are others calling them the “breastapo”. For every mother that chooses to bottle feed, there are health professionals chiding them (but offering curiously little breastfeeding support). For every mother struggling with sleepless nights, there are friends and family full of bright ideas that worked for them. The saddest thing, though – the most pernicious problem – is that politely declining the advice is taken by the contributor as a criticism of their own choices.

“I let mine cry it out, and after a few days everything was fine.”

“I don’t think that will work for us…”

“Well I’m only trying to help! You’re making a rod for your own back!”

As a Dad, I seem strangely blameless for the choices we make as a family in the eyes of the wider world, and so my wife takes all the heat of criticism and condescension when people discover we’ve done things differently from them. I guess parenting is like religion and politics – best avoided in polite conversation – but it does seem a shame that parents can’t be more cooperative and less competitive. Maybe then, by supporting each other more, and ignoring the opinions of the opinionated, Mums can help each other win their own personal battles.

Categories: Fathering, Mothering | Tags: , , | 4 Comments

Guest post: Cathy Bryant on dreaming “of being able to write well enough”

The next interview in the Mother’s Milk Books series of guest posts about creativity features the truly gifted Cathy Bryant, who contributed to Musings on Mothering. I greatly admire Cathy’s determination. To go from dreaming “of being able to write well enough” to international recognition for her writing and a whole host of publications is quite a feat. She’s certainly an inspiration to me. Thank you Cathy for taking part.

***

Cathy Bryant lives in Manchester, UK. Her first award came in 2010 with the Marple Humorous Poetry Prize. She won the 2012 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Prize for the worst opening line of a novel, and is a former blogger for the Huffington Post. Her stories and poems have been published on five continents, so her ambition is to break into the Antarctican market. Also in 2012, Cathy won the Sampad ‘Inspired by Tagore’ Contest, one of the Malahat Review Monostich Contests and the Swanezine Poetry Contest. In 2013 Cathy won the M.R. Jordan Writing Contest. She co-edits the annual anthology ‘Best of Manchester Poets’ and her collection, ‘Contains Strong Language and Scenes of a Sexual Nature’ was published recently. See more atwww.cathybryant.co.uk

Cathy Bryant

Cathy Bryant

1. Have you always considered yourself to be a creative person?

I wanted to be creative, but I didn’t think that I had any talent. But I read so hungrily and tried to write, and dreamed of being able to write well enough to be published. I just didn’t think it would ever happen.

2. Has there been any life-changing event that enhanced your creativity? If yes, can you tell us more about it?

Yes, and for me it was all about confidence. I’ve always been very lucky in my friendships, and one day my best friend Neil Bundy changed my life for me.

On 1st January 2007 I asked if he had any resolutions.

“Yes,” he said. “My New Year’s Resolution is for you to get your poems and stories published, and if you don’t even try then my year will be a failure, and it’ll be your fault!”

I laughed a bit nervously, but he looked at me and said, “I’m dead serious. That’s what I want this year. I want you to send your work off to magazines and things.”

Well, I was furious at such blackmail. And I knew that no one would want to publish my stuff. So I sent off half a dozen different pieces to various magazines and anthologies, just to prove to him that no one would want them, and got rejections. And then two acceptances…. one to an Australian magazine that sent me a free copy and paid me actual cash! Could it be that I had a touch of real talent, and that my writing wasn’t a selfish indulgence? Maybe I should let myself do it a bit more?!

After that I let myself be much more creative. A little confidence goes a long way! And Neil is the best friend in the world!

3. Do you have any tips on how to find time for your creative work amongst the everyday busyness?

Yes, absolutely – prioritise it. People tend to sideline creativity as if it isn’t necessary – like exercise they’ll try to fit it in with “more important” things like drudgery… I recommend setting aside a time each day (or each week, if you’re really time-poor) for writing, and keeping to it unless there’s a fire or similar emergency. The dishes in the sink will wait. No one died wishing that they had been more prompt with the washing up. And it’s setting an excellent example to your children to show them that even a grown-up is allowed a little of their own time in which to play and create. Even if it’s only fifteen minutes. You can write a lot in fifteen minutes!

4. What does breastfeeding mean to you?

Not being a mother, I hadn’t thought about it much until I worked with children. I sort of fell into childcare when my sister had premature twins (who are now grown-up – one is married and an actuary, and the other is a biologist – yet I used to carry them both with one hand in a tiny carrycot!) and I helped her with them, as her husband had to work away a lot. From there I dived into the happy world of childcare, and came into contact with breastfeeding – and the strange attitudes towards it.

I’d always assumed that breastfeeding would be welcomed and celebrated everywhere – I mean, what’s more natural or important? So when I was with feeding mothers, and strangers would be disapproving, unhelpful or even hostile, I was horrified. There also seemed to be a prevalent idea that breastfeeding stops very early, which seemed odd and arbitrary to me – and possibly just another case of hostility towards women. Yet some people said that babies shouldn’t be breastfed after four months, or six months, or whatever. It made me angry, when it was so obvious that breastfeeding was a beautiful thing that helped both mother and child and was the summit of both love and practicality.

When I heard about Musings on Mothering I didn’t think that I should submit anything, not being a mother – but the poems kept coming, particularly those based on my conversations with other child abuse survivors and their experience of motherhood. I asked some fellow writers who are mothers what they thought, and they said, go ahead! Supportive non-mothers are definitely part of the picture!

5. Were there any pieces in Musings on Mothering that spoke to you particularly?

Loads of them. Too many to mention. The quality of the content is breathtaking. I will say, though, that Angela Topping’s work always strikes a chord with me. She can touch the deep places and yet does it without any fanfare or pretension – after reading her poems I always feel moved and enlightened.

6. Are you working on any particular project right now?

Oh yes – I’m always messing about with something. I wrote a very rough first draft of a novel during National Novel Writing Month in November 2012, and it’s currently getting its second full edit. It’ll probably need at least one more full edit and then it’ll be off to start collecting rejections – and maybe an acceptance, as Neil would remind me! I’ve also just finished putting my second poetry collection together (PLUG ALERT: My first collection is available here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Contains-Strong-Language-Scenes-Sexual/dp/0956581919/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1369299111&sr=1-1&keywords=contains+strong+language+and+scenes+of+a+sexual+nature)

and a book of genre short stories – fantasy, science fiction and horror, with a dash of comedy thrown in. So now all I have is the easy task of finding a good publisher for each of them… oh for that magic wand…

7. Is there any one piece of work that you are particularly proud of?

I’m horribly proud of everything. It’s still all so surprising to have work published and to perform my pieces, and have people laugh and applaud rather than throwing things and leaving. I’m like a child with a birthday cake whenever I get an acceptance.

Winning the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest in 2012 was wonderful – I gave loads of interviews and was mentioned in the international press! I received a fair bit of fanmail too, which is always lovely.

One stand-out memory is of performing in Waterstones recently. I’d had a poem published in an anthology called She’s the One, a celebration of personal heroines. So many ‘50 Great Women’-type books tend to be celebrity lists, whereas this was a book in which people wrote poems, stories and memoirs about those who really meant something to them, whether that person was a war heroine or their sister. I was thrilled to be in it, and performing at Waterstones for the launch was a dream come true. If you’d gone to me just ten years ago and said, “In ten years time you’ll have a book out, be published in hundreds more and be a veteran performer,” I’d have thought it was a cruel joke.

Cathy Bryant - guess where?

Cathy Bryant - guess where?

8. Is there any one person (or persons) that you consider to be a true inspiration to you?

Again, too many to mention, but here’s one very special one. Dominic Berry, the performance poet, used to run cheap (or free to those who couldn’t afford it) writing workshops which were both friendly and helpful. He taught me how to appraise a poem in a constructive way – “How attached are you to that ‘and’?” I remember him asking once, and I realised that after one’s burst of creation, one really has to look at every bit of a piece of writing to see what works and what doesn’t. He’s also the king of performance poetry and very friendly and supportive of other performers, and he gave me my first performance gig (and I do over-use the word ‘and’). With his talent it would have been easy for him to concentrate purely on his own career, but he has injected energy, commitment and love into the Manchester poetry scene, and he’s an all-round good guy. He showed me and taught me so much, and never asked for any return. I recommend heartily any book or performance of his – he’s converted many a dubious person to the delights of the written and spoken word.

9. Is there any one piece of art or music, or writing that has influenced you, or inspired you to continue creating?

The writing of Tanith Lee for prose and Sylvia Plath for poetry. Those are the two I keep coming back to, who seem to have a hotline to my inner self and can charge and inspire me any moment.

10. What would you to say to someone who doesn’t consider themselves a creative person, but would like to try their hand at something new?

Oh, have a go! Why not? And (there I go again with ‘and’…) let yourself write crappy first drafts – don’t paralyze yourself trying to write a bestselling classic from the word go. Don’t worry too much about quality at first – just do some writing exercises and write anything you fancy. The more different things you try, the more you’ll find what works for you and what doesn’t. Then join a local writing group. Be polite to everyone, but you’ll soon find out whose feedback is worthwhile and constructive, and you can learn an awful lot. If you’re a poet, try an open mike night or two. And whatever you write, when you have about ten pieces, send them all off to different magazines or anthologies and see what happens. Proofread them carefully and always read and follow the submission guidelines, and you stand as good a chance as anyone. Expect rejections, and throw a party when you’ve had 100. Incidentally, on the first day of every month I post a list of calls for submission and writing competitions, all free and with easy, electronic entry here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Write-Out-Loud-Community/260122457345775?fref=ts – so do have a look and a go.

And always enjoy yourself. If ever it starts to feel a bind, then take a break and remember why you wanted to have a go in the first place – play with words and have fun!

Categories: Creativity, Interviews | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

And the winner is…

Many thanks to all those who entered the giveaway and spread the word about the competition and Mother’s Milk Books.

The winning entry – as pulled out of a hat by my six-year-old daughter – is from Lisa Hassan Scott.

When I contacted her to tell her she was the winner she said – and I quote “Yippee!”. So I think she’s pleased ;-)

I’ll be posting out her goodies soon.

Don’t forget that these goodies are available to buy from THE MOTHER’S MILK BOOKSHOP and they’re on special offer at the moment. Have a browse, see if there’s anything you like, and feel free to email me on: sales [at] mothersmilkbooks.com if you have any questions. Many thanks and enjoy the rest of your Bank Holiday weekend.

Categories: Art, Competition, Poetry | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

My first GIVEAWAY! (And it’s my birthday…)

THIS GIVEAWAY COMPETITION HAS NOW CLOSED

So it’s my birthday today, hooray! And, I think it’s Mother’s Milk Books’s second birthday this month too (I’ll have to check on that one though! – it’ll involve going through my diary to figure out when exactly I laid the foundations for the press, hmm…). Anyway, in order to celebrate birthdays, daffodils, spring and the coming of warmer weather I’ve got a few lovely gifts to give away.

Two mounted – AND SIGNED – prints of the following: ‘Mother, child, daffodils’ by Kathy Grossman, along with ‘The Daffodils’ poem by Marija Smits. Getting Kathy’s autograph on the print was a rather involved process – it came from the printers to me, then over to America and back. It really is a one-off. The other print had hardly any distance to travel, but still, it’s a special poem, which was inspired by Kathy’s stunning art.

Prints featuring art by Kathy Grossman and poetry by Marija Smits

Prints featuring art by Kathy Grossman and poetry by Marija Smits

The above artwork and poem were first published in Musings on Mothering and have also featured in La Leche League International’s magazine Breastfeeding Today. The editor, Barbara Higham, posted it up on the LLLGB Facebook page Breastfeeding Matters where the daffodils-inspired art and poetry was shared amongst many. You can see it here on the Breastfeeding Matters Facebook page.

Please note that the frames are not included in the giveaway, but the mounted prints fit a standard 8 x 10 inch frame. I bought these two simple, but elegant black frames from the friendly people at BEST4FRAMES.

As well as the prints there are two packs of greetings cards included in the prize – the winner gets to choose between the following four packs of 5 greetings cards.

Five pack of greetings cards, art by Karen Bachman-Kells, poetry by Marija Smits

Five pack of greetings cards featuring art by Karen Bachman-Kells and poetry by Marija Smits

KG + LR five pack greetings cards

Five pack of greetings cards, art by Kathy Grossman, photography by Lois Rowlands

Lois Rowlands + Kathy Grossman five pack greetings cards

Five pack of greetings cards, photography by Lois Rowlands and art by Kathy Grossman

Five pack of greetings cards, photography by Lois Rowlands

Five pack of greetings cards, photography by Lois Rowlands

All of these cards are available to buy from THE MOTHER’S MILK BOOKSHOP and fingers-crossed there’ll be some more prints there soon too. 10% of the profits from the sales of the greetings cards are going to the wonderful charity La Leche League GB.

Free shipping – to anywhere in the world – is included in the value of this prize.

How to enter:

There are a few different ways to enter. Each method (given that you leave a separate comment for each method completed) will count as a different entry, so the more you do, the more chances you have to win.

Leave a comment on this post telling me what you think about the above greetings cards. Beautiful? Useful? You can always do with more cards?!

Tweet the following phrase – I’d love to win the signed prints and 10 greetings cards from @MothersMilkBks #competition http://bit.ly/129ElVk  – and leave a comment saying you have done so.

Like Mother’s Milk Books on Facebook, leave a comment saying you have done so.

Follow @MothersMilkBks on Twitter, leave a comment saying you’ve done so with your Twitter username.

Follow the Mother’s Milk Books blog by entering your email address in the ‘subscribe’ box, leaving a comment saying you’ve done so.

The competition will close on Sunday 26th May 2013 at 12.00 noon, GMT.

Terms and conditions:

This competition is open to all.

Mother’s Milk Books will not be liable for applications not received, incomplete, or delayed.

All correct entries received by this date will be entered into a prize draw and the winner will be chosen randomly.

The winner will be notified on this blog and be contacted within five days.

The winning entry will receive the prize as stated on the blog post. There is no cash alternative, no returns or refunds. Frames are not included as part of the prize.

Categories: Art, Competition, Musings on Mothering, Poetry | Tags: , , , , | 21 Comments

Stall at local LLL Nottingham workshop

Here is a photograph of my little stall at the local LLL Nottingham workshop that I attended on Saturday 4th May. It was really great to meet up with so many lovely La Leche League ladies from various parts of the Midlands (and other parts of the country), and to see so many happily nursing babies and toddlers in the meeting room. LLL get-togethers always have such a lovely atmosphere about them, and of course they are a place where breastfeeding is the ‘norm’ and treated as such – which is refreshing!

Mother's Milk Bookshop products

Mother's Milk Bookshop products

Although my stall wasn’t heaving with items, I’m so proud to see it growing… Last October at the LLLGB conference it had one book on it – Musings on Mothering – and now it has greetings cards (20 designs), sold individually and in multipacks. My daughter and I spent many, many minutes (!) folding and packing the cards and envelopes into cellophane bags. I’ve also stocked up on The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, which I think is a great book to have in my online store. I’m also looking forward to adding art and poetry prints to my growing list of products. I’m getting there slowly…! (Though I’ve still got lots more product details to add to the store.) Check it out, and if you have any sales questions, don’t hesitate to email me here: sales@mothersmilkbooks.com

THE MOTHER’S MILK BOOKSHOP

Thank you!

Categories: Book selling, Greetings cards, Musings on Mothering, Publishing | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

‘If, for Childbirth’. A poem by Nadia Raafat

I am ever so pleased to be able to share this poem, written by Nadia Raafat (one of the contributors to Musings on Mothering), on this blog. Thank you again Nadia for giving me permission to publish your thought-provoking poem here.


If, for Childbirth

If you can keep your faith when all about you
Are losing theirs – instilling fear in you
If you can trust your body’s path to birth when loved ones doubt you
And know that this is what your body’s meant to do.


If you can plan a due month not a due date
Remembering babies come at their soul-appointed time
So that at your 41 week appointment
You do not feel ‘overdue’, or ‘past your prime’.


If you can wait and not grow tired of waiting
For a posterior cervix reluctant to dilate
And despite two sleepless nights of cramps, frustrating,
Ignore a negative or fearful mental state.


And if you finally transfer in, and are inspected
And find you still have many hours left to go
Can you find the trust and strength to still be patient
And to epidurals and syntocinon, still say ‘no’.


If you can close your eyes and turning inward,
Surrender to that mighty force inside
As it throws you to the edge of your existence
And let perception, bone and sinew open wide.


If you can follow your instinct into positions
Which enable good descent and pelvic space
You’ll have no need for ventouse or obstetricians
To mar the crowning of your baby’s head and face.


If you then fill the birthing room with grace and presence
As your newborn crosses worlds with searching gaze
And with warm and tender whisper guide her gently
To your naked warm embrace, your heart ablaze.


And if, from here, you fill each post-natal minute
With sixty seconds worth of loving run.
Then you have honoured Birth and the Spirit in it.
And your journey as a mother has begun.


NADIA RAAFAT



Nadia wrote this poem when she was pregnant with her third child – who is now three and a half years old.

Nadia is a Mother, Yoga Teacher, Birth Educator, Doula

Categories: Creativity, Poetry | Tags: , , , | 1 Comment

High Heels and Lipstick

I’m so pleased to be able to share another excerpt from Musings on Mothering. Many thanks to Rachel O’Leary and Rosie Evans for giving me permission to share their contributions over at Story of Mum.

I’ve always thought Rachel’s piece ‘High Heels and Lipstick’ powerful and thought-provoking. Do women compete a lot? Do we make too many assumptions about how we’re coping with the challenges of motherhood compared with other mothers?

If you’re not aware of Rachel’s piece already, do take a moment to read it… the picture she conjures of a mother ‘drowning in isolation’ is so, so vivid.

Feel free to share away. Thank you.

Categories: About the creators, Musings on Mothering, Publishing | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

‘Letting Go’ and moving into spring

Winter seems to have no intention of loosening its grip on the UK.

Although spring must surely be here soon, having successfully convinced winter that the time is right for warmer weather, daffodils and birdsong…

I really enjoyed spending the Easter weekend with family and knuckling down to some serious chocolate eating. We’ve been busy at play during the days, but I’ve been quietly getting on with work in the evenings; fine-tuning the design of some greetings cards, selling books via various sales channels (it was a pleasure for me to send out some books to La Leche League New Zealand recently), and making plans for the next book to be released from Mother’s Milk Books.

I am very, very excited to be able to announce that I will be publishing a book entitled ‘Letting Go’ by the immensely talented Angela Topping which contains poems about childhood, daughterhood and parenthood (more about Angela here on Wikipedia). One of my most favourite things about editorial work is the ‘first reading’, and when I first read her manuscript I shed a tear (or two), as well as laughing, smiling in recognition and sighing with bittersweet joy.

I am so looking forward to the coming months for Mother’s Milk Books; it’s going to be great to get another book ‘out there’ and some new products too. I’d love to get more talented writers and artists on board, yet it’s still very much down to the finances (or lack thereof!) as to how much can be done. So any support you can give Mother’s Milk Books is very much appreciated; whether it’s buying a copy of ‘Musings on Mothering’, leaving a review on Amazon, or the Mother’s Milk Bookshop, following the blog or my twitter account, or liking our Facebook page. I’ve got a pretty good memory, and remember the kindnesses bestowed upon my little fledgling press! I just hope that it will continue to grow, and one day really take off and fly…

So that’s the latest news. Wishing you all sun-filled days and much spring happiness :-)

Greeting card by Mother's Milk Books, featuring the artwork of Kathy Grossman, alongside vase of daffodils, photo by Teika Bellamy

Greeting card by Mother's Milk Books featuring the artwork of Kathy Grossman, alongside vase of daffodils. Photo by Teika Bellamy

Categories: Creativity, Publishing | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

Guest post: Sarah James on motherhood and creativity

Our next interview in the Mother’s Milk Books series of guest posts about creativity features the very talented Sarah James. Sarah is a poetess I greatly admire and I am so grateful to her for taking the time to take part. Enjoy!

***

Sarah James is a poet, part-time dabbler in art and photography, and Mum to two boys aged ten and seven. Her first full-length poetry collection Into the Yell (Circaidy Gregory Press, 2010) won third prize in the International Rubery Book Award 2011 and her website is at www.sarah-james.co.uk. Her poem ‘Milking Demonstration’ is in Musings on Mothering.

Sarah James at Bishop's Wood. Photo reproduced with permission of Sarah James.

Sarah James at Bishop's Wood. Photo reproduced with permission of Sarah James.

1. Have you always considered yourself to be a creative person?

That’s a very good question. I’m not sure I ever really thought about it, certainly not when I was younger. But, as a child, I used to make my own newspapers, dance, act, and started my own business selling home-made embroidered bookmarks and badges when I was at primary school. Needless to say I didn’t become a millionaire but still… I even wrote the odd poem.

2. Has motherhood enhanced your creativity? If yes, in what way and why do you think it has enhanced your creativity?

I think motherhood may have changed my creativity. Before my elder son was born, I mainly worked as a journalist and writing short fiction. My focus changed to poetry after he was born, perhaps partly the sleep deprivation, lack of time for sitting down with big blocks of text… Now I find it hard to read and write anything less concentrated than poetry, prose often seems to have too many weightless words. That said, I’ve also become interested in photography, creating poetry videos and poetry-art collage canvases over the past five years, so maybe my creativity is always going to evolve. My children are still, and always will be, the most important creation.

3. Do you have any tips on how to find time for your creative work amongst the everyday busyness?

Oh, that’s one I could do with some tips on! I guess often I just feel I have to create or I’d go mad. There are always parts of everyday busyness that can be put off for a little bit or ignored temporarily. I never have as much time as I’d like but things seem to get done.

4. What does breastfeeding mean to you?

For me it was very important, though I’d never feel negatively towards anyone who found  breastfeeding didn’t work for them. My first son was born early and in neonatal care with a nasal drip. I’d had a c-section and blood transfusion. We were both exhausted! So I had a lot of trouble getting him to latch on properly and wasn’t producing enough milk. But with help from La Leche League, I persevered and we managed to get to a stage where he was mainly breastfed, with occasional bottle top-ups. My second son and I had no problems at all breastfeeding – night feeds when it was just me and him were the most incredible bonding moments.

5. Were there any pieces in Musings on Mothering that spoke to you particularly?

That’s a tough one. Trying to answer it, I found myself flicking through several times, each time stopped by this poem or that image, and then another and another. There’s such great variety in there!

6. Are you working on any particular project right now?

I’ve several things on the go at the moment: my second collection hopefully out later this year, my third collection/masters portfolio, some festival readings and performance poetry, and some poetry and art going on Worcestershire buses next month.

7. Is there any one piece of work that you are particularly proud of?

They are all important to me in their own way and their own time and place. I guess I’m probably always most enthusiastic about the pieces I’m currently working on.

8. Is there any one person (or persons) that you consider to be a true inspiration to you?

Inspiration comes from everywhere for me – those close to me and strangers in the street. I – and that inspiration – would be lost without the support of family and friends though.

9. Is there any one piece of art or music, or writing that has influenced you, or inspired you to continue creating?

I think from my childhood, William Blake’s poetry influenced me before I was even aware of it. As a teenager, I adored the Impressionists and the French poet Jacques Prévert got me hooked on poetry. I guess influences come and go and some return again. I often feel like I don’t want to write/create any more… but then I’ll pick up a new book or old favourite. Sooner or later, I find a pen in my hand and words on the page.

10. What would you to say to someone who doesn’t consider themselves a creative person, but would like to try their hand at something new?

Absolutely give it a go, it’s the only way to find out if it’s for you. There’s nothing to be lost by trying and it might turn out to be one of the most creative thing and/or simply great fun, both of which are important.

Categories: Creativity, Interviews | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

A few words from the winning bidder of the recent ebay auction…

I was delighted to receive the following feedback from Lucy Holmes, who was the winning bidder of the hand bound hardback edition of Musings on Mothering:

“The handmade boxed copy of Musings on Mothering is absolutely beautiful – perfectly put together by Barbara who did a truly amazing job. What a talent! There was even a lovely note in it from her, which I am leaving in for posterity and to remind me who made it. It’s really special to have managed to win the book as my two poems in it are the first ever to be officially published so to own a completely unique one-off copy of my first ‘publication’ is something to treasure and which will be handed down to my daughter in the future. What a perfect way to mark the creativity of motherhood! I was thrilled when it arrived… Thanks so much for putting this all together.”

I am so pleased to have been able to help raise just over £70 for La Leche League Great Britain through the auction, and doubly pleased that Lucy’s delighted with the book. Thanks again to Barb and to all those who got involved in the auction and helped spread the word.

Hand bound hardback edition of Musings on Mothering

Hand bound hardback edition of Musings on Mothering


Categories: Musings on Mothering | Tags: , , | 4 Comments